My official website is a dead zombie duck wandering the internet wasteland looking for brains and finding none, especially on facebook. This blog was started as a random drawing/story project about proto feminist zombies...er yeh seemed like a good idea at the time. Now it is just a blog about my art in general with the occasional feminist zombie thrown in

Thursday 14 March 2013


It was a bright summers day, the sun was shining through the crisp new leaves on the trees creating dancing patterns of light on the ground. As birds looped and sang over head a horse drawn white carriage pulled to a halt at the entrance to the village church. The driver stepped off and opened the cabin door, the proud father of the bride climbed down first and took his daughter's hand, stepping out and straightening her billowing dress she looked at the church with a sigh of relief and happiness.

It had been a hard and grueling previous six years and at times the whole family felt the wedding would not go ahead. Zombie outbreaks had been happening in most major cities, from L.A to London hundreds of thousands of the walking dead had run riot, killing and terrorising the populace of the entire planet. By Late spring that year however the united military might of the world had contained most of the outbreaks and was cleaning up and destroying the zombie infestation.

The zombies hadn't really had too much of an effect on this particular sleepy little northern English village. Apart from food shortages, county roadblocks and the occasional army battalion passing through nothing much had really changed. No zombies had been seen in the village, old Mrs Milton from the village shop was mistakenly shot dead by a soldier when he came across her sleep walking naked in the village green. Other than that case of mistaken identity no real zombies were seen. The wedding had been postponed until now because most of the family lived in the south of England and getting through contamination zones had been very dangerous. Now that the worst had passed the wedding could finally go ahead.

Standing there looking at the church holding her father's hand, Kate felt overwhelmed. She would very soon be Mrs Kate Harrison, so many times she had thought that this day would never come, but now it was here at last and she didn't want it to end. Her father waited with her until they heard the organ music which would be their cue to enter the church and walk down the aisle.

But before they heard the organ music they heard something else, something that sent a chill down both of their spines, a loud scream echoed across the church graveyard. They both turned with a start and saw undead hands clawing their way out of the graves surrounding the church. The scream had come from the coach driver, who was already scrambling onto the coach and whipping the horses into a frenzied gallop down the road. Kate's father turned to grab her and pull her into the church, but before he could react a zombie had jumped on her back and had sunk it's teeth into her neck. She screamed out in pain as blood gushed all over her white dress, her father punched the zombie as hard as he could in the face. The zombie fell back and shook it's head, a piece of Kate's neck was hanging from it's mouth. Blood was in the air now, this drove the other zombies into a frenzy. They swarmed around and blocked the entrance to the church. Kate's dad tried his best to fend them off but, overwhelmed by sheer numbers he went down, several zombies made short work of him ripping him to bloody pieces. Meanwhile Kate was pushing her way to the door, two zombies had latched onto her and were trying to drag her down for the kill. One had sunk it's teeth into her side while the other was holding onto her leg. She kicked the one holding her leg in the face, her foot sunk into it's rotten skull. Stumbling towards the door she managed to pry the other zombie off her side, it stumbled and fell to the floor tearing a large chunk of flesh out of her with it's teeth as it fell. Pushing at the heavy wooden church doors she flung herself inside. Quickly turning she slammed her full weight against the door and tried to push it shut, but too many zombies were trying to get in and she was far too weak from blood loss to hold them back.

By this point the entire church had turned to look what the hell was going on, they saw Kate screaming and pushing at the door covered in blood. The groom ran as fast as he could down the aisle just getting to the door before the zombies pushed it open. Kate was just about managing to stay conscious but had lost a lot of blood. Several other members of the congregation joined them and helped to push at the door. A zombie managed to grab Kate's left arm and pulled her so hard that her body slammed into the door. The door was now closing on her arm and she let out a piercing scream, several zombies sunk their teeth into her exposed flesh and her arm was torn off just below the elbow. Another zombie managed to rake it's teeth down her face ripping her left eye out and tearing away a huge chunk of gore. At this point she passed out just as she was pulled back in and the church door was closed and bolted shut...

She woke up an hour or so later and sat up, pulling the veil from her face and looking around she could see that everyone had gathered at the alter leaving her at the back of the church. She got to her feet and stumbled down the aisle towards the congregation, she'd be f***ed if this was going to ruin her wedding day! Just as she got to the alter the priest turned around and saw her standing there. He let out a huge scream and ran at her full pelt stabbing a crucifix into her side. What in the name of all buggering hell did he think he was doing? First off that was just bloody rude, second crosses are for vampires not zombies and third Kate was not a flipping zombie! Anyway it severely p***ed Kate off that this stupid bloody priest had just wedged a crucifix into her guts, this was her bloody day! And yes it wasn't going perfectly but he was just making it worse. She went to slap him but instead just swung a bloody left stump splashing him across the face with blood. It was only then that she realised that she may no longer be among the living. Looking over at her fiance she could see the absolute horror on his face, there was no bloody way he would marry her now......unless.

Several hours later Kate stood at the alter, her new corpse husband holding her hand...the only one she had left. The zombie priest had just finished the ceremony and they were now officially rotting corpse husband and mangled wife. The congregation looked on with dead glassy stares, some of them moaned a little, most of them applauded if they still had two arms. Kate had systematically murdered them all and turned them into zombies, one bite at a time. After they had all changed they seemed far more at ease with the wedding going ahead, sure it wasn't exactly what she had envisioned when she was a little girl, but no marriage is made in heaven....especially not this one.

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