Natalie was an extra in many big name period dramas, she used to have to diet like crazy to get into the tiny costumes. Every calorie had to be counted, there were no deserts and no chocolate, she had to be skeletal to get into the corsets.

In the end she got totally fed up while filming Pride and Prejudice 2 : the return of Darcy and made a B-line for the free food during a break in filming. Sadly Natalie scoffed an infected hot dog that was 45% zombie horse meat, she began to feel a bit faint during a key scene where Mr Darcy comes out of the closet in the midst of a huge formal ball. She collapsed face first into the punch and was taken to the medical van by the crew. The medics just thought she had fainted due to the lack of oxygen getting to her brain because the corset was so tight, however her skin soon started to rot and peel off and she began to scream wildly. After eviscerating the ambulance crew she made her way back to the set, this time taking centre stage. Natalie ripped Mr Darcy limb from limb and turned the rest of the cast into human mince meat.

Needless to say Natalie is an old school zombie and doesn't take any crap off of anybody, she's happier now because she can eat all the human brains she wants and never puts on a pound, she can even have guilt free desert! If you want to ask her out on a date her main interests are theatre, fashion and horse riding. She also enjoys chasing people around at night and eating their legs, then toying with them for a few hours as they scream and try to drag themselves away...good luck on your first date!

Odette is a french exchange student, she came over to England to study but, ended up running for her life from a mob of football hooligan zombies rather unsuccessfully...

After being happy slapped, stabbed and kicked around like a football, the zombies got a bit bored and left her in a kebab shop. Sadly for Odette her ordeal didn't end there, the shop owner decided to carve some of her up and serve it as kebab meat...she managed to go rampage crazy on his ass and tore him limb from limb. Her looks ruined, her clothes bloody and ripped, half of her face served up as kebab fodder, Odette was having a pretty sh***y time. And now to make matters worse you come along looking for a easy lay thinking that a dead girl can't say no.

But there is a problem, you don't speak french and Odette doesn't speak english, so what are you going to do hot shot? Ah, you want to think of something cute to say to her, and put it through an internet translator engine and hope for the best? Okay, so what do you want to say?

Okay so this is what we've got: Excuse me, you are the most beautiful girl i have ever met, even though your face is dripping blood onto my shoes and one of your eyes is missing and, your guts are hanging out and, your lips are ripped to pieces and you smell like the worst thing i have ever smelled maybe a sheep that died in a river and washed up fourteen weeks later all bloated and gross and then baked under the sun for two weeks while maggots ate it's brains...erm but i want to maybe take you out to a erm meal or something.....so you want to come?

Okay, an interesting approach.... real er poetry, lets translate that....

Excusez-moi, vous êtes la plus belle fille que j'aie jamais rencontré, même si votre visage est ruisselant de sang sur mes chaussures et un de vos yeux est manquant et, les tripes sont suspendus et, vos lèvres sont déchirés en morceaux et vous sentez comme la pire chose que j'ai jamais senti peut-être un mouton qui est mort dans une rivière et lavé jusqu'à quatorze semaines plus tard, tout gonflés et brut et ensuite cuit sous le soleil pendant deux semaines alors que les asticots mangé ses cerveaux ... euh, mais je veux peut-être que vous prenez sur un repas ou quelque chose euh ..... si vous voulez venir?

Okay, go over there and say it to her....I'll er wait here.

........What's up? how did it go? Ahh i see, she ripped your arm off and tried to beat you to death with it! Ahh, you're going to lay down now and want me to call an ambulance? Sigh....

...Well the ambulance is on it's way, while we are waiting i may just put the french back through the translator and see what it said...

....Excuse me, your blood on my shoes, my face is falling, the eyes of one missing is built-in, even if paused and met the most beautiful girl, your lips are devastated and found dead in the river for more than fourteen weeks until the wash probably thought the worst amount of feeling, swollen day after every two weeks in the sun for cooking maggots ate his brain ... Well, but perhaps you're eating. Want to eat ..... Well ... If you want to come?

Hmm maybe that was the problem? Or your aftershave? Or general idiotic manner, hello? Are you okay? The ambulance is on it's way......

Fiona is one of those beach babes, perpetually on holiday and perpetually working on her tan. She'd be down the beach at the first sign of sunlight and stay there lounging all day long. Unfortunately for Fifi (as her friends call her) she chose the wrong beach this summer and was attacked by a giant zombie octo-shark and bitten in half. The octo-shark carried her legs into the sea never to be seen again, Fifi's torso sprawled on the beach for several days until a team of zombie paramedics found her and brought her back to after life.

Since then not much has changed really, she still loves the beach and often can be found there drinking cocktails. (which pump out of her stomach hole and mix with the bloody sand) If you see her on the beach, try your luck and offer to buy her a drink by all means, just don't ask her to join you for a swim.

Elvira is one of those girls you'd see in a branded coffee shop reading a book or blogging on her fruit themed laptop in a quiet corner. (urgh i hate bloggers! Self promoting bores!) She'd sit there occasionally sipping at her decaffeinated skinny caramel macchiato with chocolate sprinkles, head buried in her book and not even notice you. Being savaged by zombies and chewed a bit hasn't really changed her all that much, she still loves to sit in a corner drinking coffee and reading a good book. Except now the coffee is full caffeine with added human blood and skin sprinkles and the corner she sits in is very quiet due to her stinking up the entire coffee shop with the smell of her putrid rotten flesh.

Now, before you start thinking of sauntering over there and trying out some age old chat up technique or impressing her with your knowledge of modern literary greats (Andy Mcnab and Dan F****** Brown, you ill educated knuckle dragging moron, do not fall into this catagory) notice she is reading a book by Virginia Woolf......no she didn't write little red riding hood.

It basically should lead you to assume that Elvira here is a thoughtful and well read zombie teen who is interested in feminist literature and ideas. In other words she is not going to be impressed by you at all you douch. What do you mean you've read feminist books? What? NO, FIFTY SHADES OF GREY IS NOT A FEMINIST TOME YOU D**K HOLE. IT'S A BADLY CRAFTED, BADLY WRITTEN CRAP-FEST WHICH PRESUMES ALL WOMEN WANT IS SOME RICH CRUMBY ASS TO DOMINATE THEM AND GIVE THEM SHALLOW MEANINGLESS SEX THAT REQUIRES NO CLITORAL STIMULATION TO ACHIEVE ORGASM. And what's with all the f*****g sighing in that book? The characters never speak they always ''breath'' words or ''sigh'' them.......christ.

Well if you want to still give her a try you can, go on go ask her for her number or whatever. Just leave me out of it!

Catalina was a nun while alive, she was working at an old church monastery when she was bitten by a rabid zombie priest and turned into one of the living dead. She continued with her vows and is now a rotting bride of christ. You're still going to try ask her out aren't you..... You're too much, you haven't got a snowballs hope in hell. She's a flipping nun! Were you not listening? You think that just because she smells like month old rotting haddock she is going to be desperate and let you take her out? She is used to a life of chastity, it's not like being a putrid pile of puss has changed her love life at all. Ah forget it, go ahead and make a fool of yourself!

Hetty was a good christian woman in life, but in death she fell in with the wrong crowd. She became the head of a satanist death cult (literally the head) and most nights she has a candle in her skull and is being paraded around covered in goats blood. It's not a bad afterlife but isn't exactly the infinite reward of heaven she was hoping for. It is true she has a lot of trouble meeting prospective partners in her current role, so you could maybe ask her out for a date. She'd know one thing for sure, you're not just after her for her body. But remember that she was a christian and is probably a little out of your league seeing as she is technically a bride of Christ, and he is a very tough act follow.

Sheena was a punk rocker, Sheena still is a punk rocker. Punk may be dead, but punks never die. She's lead guitarist in an undead punk band who these days mostly play misfits covers (most of their songs are about crawling out of graves so they go down well with the zombie crowd) Don't bother asking this 3 chord putrid punk rock princess out on a date by heckling her mid song, she will sling her axe and decapitate your slam dancing poser ass before you can finish singing Napalm Death's ''YOU SUFFER'' ...

....enough said really.
And if you were wondering, yeah that is a Travis Bean 500 she is brandishing and she can play it better than you, even with her fingers rotting off.

Trixie wasn't always a quadruple amputee. In life she was a waitress, all that running around carrying plates wore her out and ground her down. She'd usually be serving jerks like you, who slapped her ass and gave her crappy tips with even crappier pick up lines. She'd have to smile and take it or lose her job.
Now that Trixie is one of the walking dead....er crawling dead she can have her cake and eat your guts. She had both arms and legs removed so she never has to lift a finger again...instead she is waited on hand and foot and lives an afterlife of luxury.
And don't be all suave thinking she is even going to give you a second look, all the tips in the world won't get you anywhere.

 Natasha is a former model. Her favourite pass times include eating people's brains, crochet and watching real undead housewives of NYC. She's far too pretty for you, even though her skin is rancid and former blonde hair is now just a rank mess of threads dripping from her head. Don't even bother asking her out unless you are prepared to let her chew on your arms and legs.....and don't interupt her favourite show! shhhhhhhh!

Tallulah was a professional ballet dancer in a past life. She has less skin now, but she isn't really any thinner.
If you see her on the dance floor you could ask her to dance, but you are all fat and greasy and she would only turn you down. And don't try any cheesy chat up lines, she may be dead but she isn't brain dead.

Just cause Barbara's hair is falling out of her skull doesn't mean she can't lather rinse and repeat....not to mention conditioning. You don't just fall out of a coffin looking this good it takes time! So no, she won't be coming out with you...ever

dead girls do say no, Sharon may be rotting on the inside but she has far to much to do than be dating the likes of you. Maybe, just maybe if you rolled in month old chicken livers she'd give you a second look...but probably not.