Odette is a french exchange student, she came over to England to study but, ended up running for her life from a mob of football hooligan zombies rather unsuccessfully...

After being happy slapped, stabbed and kicked around like a football, the zombies got a bit bored and left her in a kebab shop. Sadly for Odette her ordeal didn't end there, the shop owner decided to carve some of her up and serve it as kebab meat...she managed to go rampage crazy on his ass and tore him limb from limb. Her looks ruined, her clothes bloody and ripped, half of her face served up as kebab fodder, Odette was having a pretty sh***y time. And now to make matters worse you come along looking for a easy lay thinking that a dead girl can't say no.

But there is a problem, you don't speak french and Odette doesn't speak english, so what are you going to do hot shot? Ah, you want to think of something cute to say to her, and put it through an internet translator engine and hope for the best? Okay, so what do you want to say?

Okay so this is what we've got: Excuse me, you are the most beautiful girl i have ever met, even though your face is dripping blood onto my shoes and one of your eyes is missing and, your guts are hanging out and, your lips are ripped to pieces and you smell like the worst thing i have ever smelled maybe a sheep that died in a river and washed up fourteen weeks later all bloated and gross and then baked under the sun for two weeks while maggots ate it's brains...erm but i want to maybe take you out to a erm meal or something.....so you want to come?

Okay, an interesting approach.... real er poetry, lets translate that....

Excusez-moi, vous êtes la plus belle fille que j'aie jamais rencontré, même si votre visage est ruisselant de sang sur mes chaussures et un de vos yeux est manquant et, les tripes sont suspendus et, vos lèvres sont déchirés en morceaux et vous sentez comme la pire chose que j'ai jamais senti peut-être un mouton qui est mort dans une rivière et lavé jusqu'à quatorze semaines plus tard, tout gonflés et brut et ensuite cuit sous le soleil pendant deux semaines alors que les asticots mangé ses cerveaux ... euh, mais je veux peut-être que vous prenez sur un repas ou quelque chose euh ..... si vous voulez venir?

Okay, go over there and say it to her....I'll er wait here.

........What's up? how did it go? Ahh i see, she ripped your arm off and tried to beat you to death with it! Ahh, you're going to lay down now and want me to call an ambulance? Sigh....

...Well the ambulance is on it's way, while we are waiting i may just put the french back through the translator and see what it said...

....Excuse me, your blood on my shoes, my face is falling, the eyes of one missing is built-in, even if paused and met the most beautiful girl, your lips are devastated and found dead in the river for more than fourteen weeks until the wash probably thought the worst amount of feeling, swollen day after every two weeks in the sun for cooking maggots ate his brain ... Well, but perhaps you're eating. Want to eat ..... Well ... If you want to come?

Hmm maybe that was the problem? Or your aftershave? Or general idiotic manner, hello? Are you okay? The ambulance is on it's way......